The Idea Bank

I’ve been thinking that there should be a idea bank, where you can drop off your extra ideas and get paid some small stipend for it. Like a sperm bank except for ideas which, of course, means it’s just like a sperm bank only with ideas instead of sperm.

Every sperm represents a possible future and set of outcomes. Ditto for your ideas which represent some form of fuzzy potential, the result of which could either benefit humanity or screw things up even worse. There are differences between sperm and ideas, however. Instead of masturbating into a vial, you write your ideas down on a scrap of paper or enter them in a Web form (who uses paper anymore?), and some person doing their best to act like they aren’t judging you, pay you for your idea. Once again, you can see that idea donation is a lot like sperm donation.

The big difference is that with sperm donation, you masturbate for a few minutes, or seconds (hey, who am I to judge?) and you’re pretty much done. Until the next time.

With ideas, however, you mentally masturbate non-stop, 24 hours a day, even while you’re sleeping. And unlike sperm donation (is it donation if they pay you?), where every sample looks pretty much the same, ideas already have a kind of form and it’s likely you’ve already become attached to many of them. You may even have given them names and imagined how wonderful it will be when the idea is…