The Easter Story Explained

Some years back, my youngest son asked me about Easter. What it was all about? More importantly, what’s with all the eggs? Luckily, as a parent, I was (and am) endowed with the power of complete universal knowledge and, naturally, explaining how Easter works is child’s play. Or adult knowledge, in this case.

Here, then, is the story. And rest assured, every single word of it is true.

Every Easter, a giant invisible white rabbit, only vaguely like the one in the famous play, “Harvey,” visits every house everywhere all around the world, delivering chocolates for Easter. He goes by the name Easter Bunny.

Possessed with awesome jumping powers, the Easter Bunny doesn’t need a sleigh or reindeer to cover the world. He just hops from house to house. When he arrives at a house where a boy or girl live, he slides down the chimney, in much the same way as Santa does. Unlike Santa, however, the Easter Bunny doesn’t care if you’ve been bad or good. He has Easter eggs to deliver and by golly, he’s going to deliver them.

Now Santa may be rounder than the Easter Bunny, but the Easter bunny is a lot taller. Also, unlike Santa, the Easter Bunny can shrink himself down to the size of a fly. This is cool because if you don’t have a chimney, he can come up the floor vents. Once he pops out, he returns to his normal size (about 7 feet tall)…